Goodbye, Friend
by closetcannons
Summary: A story based on Hogwarts Mystery. Arah experiences the loss of a friend. Heartbroken, she struggles to cope. Anger, sadness, rage, and deep loss. How will she grieve and honor the death of her friend? Time will tell.
1. Death

**A/N**

**Hey guys! This is another one-shot I wrote based off of the Hogwarts Mystery app. THIS IS A SPOILER ALERT, so enter at your own risk...you have been warned. Spoilers in...**

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**I have been grieving over the loss of our beloved friend, Rowan. I wanted to write this fic to give myself some closure. It broke my heart, and I hope it breaks yours too...in a good way? Anyways, this is my outlet for grieving. I plan on writing maybe 1 or 2 more chapters to this. We will see how the game plays out. **

**Portions of this one-shot are borrowed directly from the game, which I do not own. With that said, enjoy!**

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**Year 6: Rowan's Death**

Arah looked up at the night sky. The crescent moon shined brightly, pale light piercing through the dark canopy of the Forest painting the ground with an iridescent glow. Closing her eyes, she sighs, disappointment heavy on her shoulders. Jacob was supposed to be here. They were supposed to intercept her brother's meeting with 'R', yet there was no sign he had even been here. All she wanted was to see him, even if it was just a glimpse. At least enough to know that he was okay.

Maybe she read the black quill message wrong? There was no sign that anyone had even been here. A prickling feeling crawled down the back of her neck... could this all be a setup? Could it be the escaped wizard's attempt to catch her off guard?

"Ow! Copper, watch where you step!" Merula hissed.

"_You_ watch where you step!" Ben bit back.

"Will you two _please_ stop bickering?" Arah sighed. "And keep it down. Someone could be out here..."

Nervously, she scans the darkness of the trees as Merula murmurs something about how she had liked Ben better as a coward.

The lack of light begins to play tricks on Arah's eyes- the shadows swirl in her vision, trees seemed to eerily move on their own, and darknesses fleeted in the corner of her eyes. That's when she saw it. A glint of silver reflecting the pale moon.

"Ben, Merula. I found something." Arah whispered intently, approaching the shining object. Kneeling down, Arah could see a small necklace peeking from under the thicket. Her eyes transfixed on the beautiful jewel- completely taken by the beauty of it.

"Don't touch that! It's cursed." Merula demanded. Arah blinks, as she stares at her own fingers hovering inches away from the necklace. Confused- she jerks her hand away, snapping out of the strange trance.

"What are you talking about, Merula?" Ben walked over to the two of them- surveying the strange amulet.

"That necklace is one of Rakepick's dark artefacts." Merula said sternly.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure of it. She showed it to me herself once." Merula said, mouth pressed in a thin line "Your welcome to touch it and see what happens if you don't believe me." she challenged, rolling her eyes.

"We believe you," Ben smirked. "but how did it get here?" His eyebrows furrowed, deep in thought.

"Dumbledore told me he had Rakepick's Dark artifacts stored at the Ministry. Does that mean she found a way to steal them back?" Worry sunk to the pit of Arah's stomach like a stone. If that were true- they were in big trouble. The thought of Rakepick having those artifacts back was enough to send a chill down her spine... or it was just the bitter cold getting to her. It felt as if her bones were made of ice. It was unbearable.

"Why is it suddenly so _bloody_ freezing?" Merula shivered, wrapping her arms around herself tightly, clenching her teeth to stop from chattering.

Their breaths floated in wispy clouds before them. They look at one another, confusion settling like the frost that began to cover the foliage around them. Leaves slowly turn white, roots covered in frost. The cold pierced Arah's heart, filling her with unbelievable sorrow. A feeling she had felt before...

Suddenly, a black shadowy figure lurks from behind a dead tree, floating eerily towards them. The rattling sound of a wheeze escapes the cloaked figure. It was the sound of death.

_Dementors_.

"Run!" Arah demanded.

The three of them took off, running towards the direction they had come from- but another Dementor blocked their path. They turn to run through another opening but a cloaked figure sinks before them...then another...and another until there were so many, Arah couldn't count. Hopelessness began to swallow Arah, her mind clouded with dread. There was no way out.

"They're surrounding us!" Ben shouted, gripping his wand tightly.

"There are so many..." Merula panted breathlessly, eyes wide with fear.

"_Flipendo_!" Ben flicks his wand- but the spell has no effect. The Dementors close in - anguish suffocating them.

"Merula! Conjure your patronus with me!" Arah ordered, concentrating on the happiest memory she could. "_Expecto Patronum_!"

A white whispy specter of a hawk shoots out from the end of her wand, wings spread wide, shielding the three of them from a Dementor. Warmth radiates off the bright Patronus- driving several away.

"_Expecto patronum!"_ Merula screams, a white veil shoots from her wand- causing another Dementor to shriek, fleeing from the bright light. But it was no use. More and more arrive, taking its place.

Arah calls her Patronus again, but it quickly dissipates- consumed by the dark swarm of Dementors that surround them.

"It's no good! My patronus isn't powerful enough to banish them all." Arah pants, panic settling into her chest.

"When you drive one back, another just fills it's place" Ben's voice shakes. It was the first time in a long time Arah could hear the fear in his voice.

"What do we do?" Merula trembles.

The sound of screams ring in Arah's ears. It was a sound she had heard before and never would forget. She shutters, going pale at the memory. It was the sound she had heard when her Mum believed Jacob to be dead- when Arah had come to the realization that she would likely never see her brother again. Arah collapsed on her knees, covering her ears tightly- trying to smother the wails of her Mother's cries. Closing her eyes tightly, she tries to think of her happy memory- but it was gone...choked by the thorns of grief and despair.

"_Expecto Patronum_!" A mysterious voice rang from the darkness.

The three of them look around wildly as the figure of a silvery lioness barrels through the dark sea of Dementors. A bright light emanates from the specter- blinding the three of them as they shield their eyes from the radiant glow.

As the light diminished, Arah's eyes adjust to the darkness- seeing that the Dementors had all disappeared. Arah scans the forest, searching for the mysterious caster who had conjured such a powerful patronus. A firey-haired woman walks into the pale moonlight, wand fixed towards the three of them.

_Rakepick_.

"YOU!" Merula roars, racing towards her - firing a spell. Rakepick dodges the spell effortlessly, rebounding the spell back to Merula causing her to fly backward, violently tumbling through the air. Merula hits a tree with a loud thud, her wand dropping to the ground.

"Merula!" Arah screams.

A slightly amused smirk shadows Rakepick's face as Merula falls to her side- gripping her shoulder in pain as she attempts to crawl towards her wand.

"I will ...get my revenge..." Merula growled through bloody teeth.

"Revenge?" Rakepick scoffed. With a small flick of her wand, roots sprout from the ground, entangling Merula. "Miss Snyde, you're in such a hurry to die, but the truth is, you aren't even worth killing" She sneered.

Merula exploded with anger, writhing to try and free herself from the roots.

"If you just want us dead, why bother saving us?" Arah challenged, wand trained towards the teacher she had once looked up to. Betrayal stung, it cut deep. Anger pumped red hot through her veins as she recalled Merlua's guttural screams while Rakepick tortured her. How Rakepick had left them to die in that vault. How she was the reason her brother went missing all these years. Arah gripped her wand tightly, knuckles glowing white with rage.

"I wasn't about to let the dementors finish you off, Miss Annon. I want the pleasure of killing you _myself_" Rakepick smiled darkly. With a sneer- red embers erupt from her wand, spiraling towards Arah.

_Protego_.

There was a ripple in the air as the spell slammed into her shield, but it was too powerful. The force of the spell knocked her backward to the ground. Arah's side slams into a rock, she could feel the warm liquid trickle down the side of her forehead. Clenching her jaw, she raises her wand towards Rakepick.

_Stupefy!_

Rakepick moved like fluid, dodging the spell with ease. The look of boredom apparent on her face...like she was disappointed Arah wasn't putting up a better fight. Snarling, Arah crawled to her knees, waving her wand fiercely.

_Lacarnum Inflamari!_

A fiery blast shoots towards Rakepick, but she simply steps to the side- flames erupting against the bark of a tree behind her.

_"Everte Statum!_" Rakepick mumbles- a violet ray hits Arah in the chest as she skids across the ground- a sharp pain erupting in her lungs. The pain blurs her edge of consciousness, every breath like shards of glass tearing her open from the inside out.

"It's time to finish what I started in the buried vault. This is the end for you, 'Curse-Breaker." Rakepick spit as she aimed her wand towards her. Shakily, Arah lifts her wand arm, vision blurring in and out of focus. She accepted the reality that she would not be able to fight Rakepick off- not in the state she was in. But she couldn't lie there and do nothing- not while her friends were still in danger. Maybe she could cause a distraction, at least enough to give Ben and Merula time to escape.

"_Flipendo Maxima!_" Ben bellowed.

Rakepick seemed to be taken by surprise as she quickly dodged his spell, barely evading the blast. In one swift movement, Rakepick fires back at Ben- who quickly eludes the hex. Rakepick grinned with eyebrows raised, impressed by the skilled young wizard.

"Well, well. Looks like Copper has grown some courage." Rakepick taunted.

Gritting his teeth, Ben propels another attack, hitting Rakepick hard in the side. She stumbles back, gasping as she grips her ribs, the look of shock apparent on her face. Rakepick had let her guard down by a 16-year-old _boy_. A boy that had once been a coward. Her face twists into a sickly grin, laughing darkly.

"I won't let you hurt anyone I care about anymore!" Ben commanded, wand trained on his old professor.

"Well done, Copper. You've learned to talk like a real Gryffindor. But can you back that talk up?" Rakepick challenged smugly.

With a wicked smirk, she discharges another curse at him. The spell moved so quickly Ben didn't even have the chance to avoid it before hitting him square in the stomach- causing him to fly into the air landing on his back with a thud.

"Ben..." Merula rasped.

Roaring through the pain, Ben lifts himself back up- flicking his wand quickly, hitting Rakepick again. A large cut bore into her arm, crimson began to bleed through the fabric, soaking her sleeve with a coppery hue. This time, she wasn't laughing. Anger shadows every feature in her face as she scowls in pain.

The two begin to duel back and forth- Arah could feel the heat radiating on her cheeks as the flashes of curses and spells are fired back and forth between the two. The look of concentration evident on each of their faces. Sweat glistened on Ben's forehead as he dodges another spell before firing immediately back. With a loud crack, Ben collapses to his hands and knees- gasping for breath.

"Hang on Ben... I'll help you." Arah groaned, struggling to lift her wand- ignoring the shooting pain that fills her lungs like ice.

"No! I'll handle Rakepick." Ben orders, shakily standing back up on his feet- blood dripping from his nose.

"You can '_handle_' me, can you? We'll see about that." Rakepick scowled. "_Confringo!"_

With a fiery blast, Ben flies back violently. His robes smoke and singed with dying embers as it reveals a scorched arm, grotesque with burns. Quivering, Ben lifts himself up from the floor. With a trembling hand, he lifts his wand back towards Rakepick.

"Copper... run!" Merula groans, trying to free herself from the vines.

"_No_! I'm tired of running. NO MORE!" Ben's nostrils flare - blood smeared down his face.

Arah watches in horror as Ben continues to duel, repelling spell after spell that Rakepick throws at him. Even injured, Ben continued to battle as if his life depended on it. That's when it hit Arah. His life _did_ depend on it. The malevolent look was unmistakable in Rakepicks eyes...this witch would stop at _nothing_. Even if it meant taking a young wizard's life. Arah's heart raced as Ben hit Rakepick again, the spell causing her knee to buckle.

"That'll teach you a lesson." Ben wheezed, wiping his blood on his good sleeve.

"Take _this_ lesson to the grave." Rakepick threatened, glaring through her curtain of red oily hair. "_Avada Kedavra_!"

It was as if the world had stopped. Everything suddenly moved in slow motion. The green light shooting from the end of Rakepicks wand- rushing towards Ben. The blur of movement from the trees as a familiar brown-faced girl appeared from the shadows. The confusion Arah felt to see her best friend, Rowan, running through the trees towards Ben. Their eyes met briefly, Rowan giving her a reassuring look before shoving Ben out of the way. The terror paralyzed Arah as she saw the green light pierce through Rowan's heart. Her body jerked violently through the air- tumbling to the ground with a sickening thud. The way her head lolled to the side, life vanishing from her eyes, leaving her with a ghostly stare. The look of fear permanently etched into her face.

"ROWAN!" She heard herself scream. Her body moved on its own, crawling towards her best friend's lifeless form.

"NO!" Ben yelps- eyes wide with shock.

"Khanna..." Merula stares blankly at the girl who lie motionless before her. A girl she had learned to call her friend.

"I warned you that you owed 'R' a friend's life. Consider that debt collected." Rakepick said thinly, tucking her wand in her robe.

"_You_...I'LL KILL YOU!" Merula shrieked, freeing herself from the roots and grabbing her wand.

With a sigh, Rakepick shook her head pathetically- before apparating. A loud crack echoes through the forest leaving them in a deafening silence.

"No...no. Rowan, get up. _Please_. GET UP!" She shook Rowan's limp body as if attempting to wake her for breakfast as she did every morning. Rowan remains still, except for a single tear that rolls down her colorless cheek.

"_No_..." Ben whispered to himself, dropping to his knees next to Arah.

"Arah, stop. She's not breathing." Merula knelt next to her, laying a hand on Arah's trembling shoulder as she tries to shake her again.

"No, no... There's got to be some spell... There has to be _something_ we can do!" Arah choked, cupping her hand over her mouth as she stifled back a cry. "This can't be...Rowan can't be _dead_."

"The Killing Curse...There's no coming back." Merula whispered gently.

"Maybe...maybe someone can save her. SOMEBODY! HELP!" Arah screamed, voice horse with emotion. "_PLEASE_!"

"Rowan...she's _gone_." Ben said, as if waking from a dream.

Arah felt as if her heart was being ripped out of her chest. Collapsing on top of Rowan's still chest, Arah wailed, clenching fist's full of her friend's robes. Tears soak the fabric as she sobbed- grief wracking her body as she buried deeper into Rowan's lifeless embrace. Death never seemed so inviting. It should have been _her_. Arah should be the one lying here, not Rowan. This was all her fault. Rowan would be alive if not for her. Two hands lie on her shoulders as she heaved. The sound of her muffled cries drowns out the sniffles from behind her.

The ghostly cries she had heard from her Mum now escaped her own lips as she mourned over the loss of her best friend. Rowan. She understood now, how her Mum had felt. Like a part of her was missing. Ripped away from this world - the precious life of her best friend. Why her? Why Rowan...

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**A/N**

**Ugh. So heart-wrenching. Please leave a review and**** let me know what you think! For those of you who don't play Hogwarts Mystery, I encourage you to download the app and give it a play :)**


	2. Stages of Grief

**A/N**

**Portions of this one-shot are borrowed directly from the game, which I do not own. With that said, happy reading...or in this case, maybe not-so-happy reading.**

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The rest of the night was a blur. Bits and pieces float into her memory like a dream. Ben casting _Vermillious, _sending red sparks flying into the sky, calling for help. Arah clenching her best friend's dead body as they tried to take her away. Hagrid carrying Rowan's frail frame as Arah crumbled to the floor. Ben and Merlula holding her up as they made their way to the hospital wing. They had been given calming drought to soothe them...now she floated down the hall, numb and emotionless.

The school was called to meet in the Great Hall. The sun had just risen above the rolling hills- filling the castle with a golden light. What should have been crowded halls, were now empty and silent. Had it really only been a few hours since everything happened? Nothing felt real, as if it were all just a nightmare that she would soon wake from. Maybe that's what this was. A dream. She would soon wake up in her bed to see the sleeping form of Rowan next to her, a book splayed open in her lap with her glasses askew just like every morning. The thought made her heart wrench in agony.

Arah opened the door to the Great Hall to see everyone already gathered. A deathly quiet hung thick in the air. It was suffocating. The sound of sniffles and soft cries reverberate through the silence. Hagrid's towering figure hovers over the crowd as he blows his nose loudly in a handkerchief, thick tears streaming down his cheeks into his soggy beard. Professor Kettleburn lies a small hand on his monstrous arm, attempt to comfort the sobbing half-giant.

Whispers began to buzz through the room as Arah drifted down the hall. A hundred eyes follow her as she limps through the body of students. Small gasps can be heard as they survey her swollen red-rimmed eyes and injuries. The dried gash on the side of her forehead still throbbed slightly and the cuts on her cheek stung from the salt of her tears.

Arah spots Barnaby huddled in a group with Badeea and Liz. A look of disbelief apparent on his face. The two girls stand closely together, murmuring intently to one another with worry-filled eyes.

"I heard that Arah, Merula, and Ben were there..." Arah hears Liz whisper as she walks by. Barnaby catches a glimpse of her as she passes- green eyes widen in shock as he surveys her injuries. He didn't want to believe it- that Rowan was gone, but seeing Arah was proof. His face twists with grief, he trains his eyes to the floor, bowing his head low to hide the tears that threaten to fall past his eyes. Just like he had done when he was a young boy to hide his emotions from his father.

Liz cups her hand over her mouth, eyes shimmering behind her glasses as Arah makes her way through the crowd. Badeea looks somber, pity glistening in her eyes.

"I can't believe Rowan died last night." Ismelda mutters to herself in disbelief. Beatrice stands next to her, eyes distant and lost in thought.

Chiara stands alone, head downcast- hair covering her face as her shoulders quake silently. Talbott stands in an isolated darkened corner, head bowed and arms crossed tightly to himself.

Tonks's stands closer to the front of the room, crying into Tulip's shoulder. Her hair was not it's usual bright pink, but now just a dull mousey brown. Tulip hugs her tightly- her own cheeks glistening. Jae stands next to them, hands buried deep in his pockets and his hoodie pulled over his head to hide the tears that threaten to spill. Diego rests a comforting hand on a young Cedric's shoulder, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

A loud sob catches Arah's attention as she sees Penny weep into her hands as Andre rubs her back in comfort.

And there was Charlie, shimmering pearls drop from the end of his own freckled nose, eyes downcast - attempting to hide behind his red long hair. His arm was wrapped around Percy's shoulders as tears stream down his little brother's cheeks. The twins stood sadly, hands shoved in their pockets, not quite knowing what to do to help comfort their mourning brothers.

Arah makes her way to the front of the crowd, finding Merula and Ben. The three of them stare at one another, an unspoken look shared between them confirming that the previous night had truly happened. Merula's face was riddled in small scratches, her lip busted and bruised. Dark bags shadow her eyes- but the look of anger radiates from them. Ben's arm was tied in a sling and bound in gauze from the burns he had suffered. A deep cut stretched across the bridge of his nose and his left eye was black and blue.

"This doesn't seem real." Arah hears herself mutter.

"The thought that Rowan is gone-" Ben affirms- eyes empty and emotionless.

"It only just happened. You're in shock. We all are." Tulip approaches, placing a hand on her shoulder. Arah flinches at the touch.

"It's different, we _watched_ it happen." Merula spits angrily. Arah winces at the venom in her voice.

"I still don't understand how... _why_ Rowan was even there. It all happened so fast..." Arah says thickly, eyebrows furrowed as she tries to make sense of it. The scene replays again in her head, just as it had been since it had happened. How did she know? Why was she there? So many unanswered questions that she may never get the answer to...

"Arah...I think I may know why Rowan was in the forest last night." Penny whimpers, hiccupping as she stifles another cry.

"What? Penny, you have to tell-"

"Dumbledore's here." Andre interrupts, jerking his head in the direction of their headmaster as he walks somberly through the crowd. The murmurs die down and silence fills the room as he climbs up the steps.

"Penny, what do you mean you know why Rowan was in the forest last night?" Arah whispers.

"Let's talk later. In private." Penny wipes her sleeve across her cheek, looking up at Dumbledore with watery eyes.

The statue of the golden owl spreads its wings wide as their headmaster stands behind the podium, sadness reflected in his eyes. The teachers line up behind him. Professor McGonagall sniffles, dabbing at her cheeks with a handkerchief. Professor Sprout stands next to her, nose red and lips trembling. Professor Flitwick looks to the floor somberly. Snape stares in the distant- the look of grief shadowing his pale features.

"Last night we suffered an unimaginable loss at the hands of unimaginable evil." Arah looks to the floor, fists clenched, biting her bottom lip to stop it from quivering. "Rowan Khanna, a devoted student and friend, sacrificed her life to save another's..." Ben's breathing hitches, face contorting with guilt.

"There is no more noble deed. So today, we will not waste words on Rowan's killer, whom I _assure_ you will be brought to justice." Dumbledore pauses. Arah felt his eyes on her, burning her skin. She grimaces at the thought of Rakepick. Hot angry tears roll down her cheeks, falling to the floor.

"Today, we gather as one Hogwarts community to grieve, remember, and honor Rowan and her final heroic act. Grief takes many forms. And it takes time. Sadness... fear... anger... there are no wrong feelings. It is important in trying times that we be kind and patient with one another." Merula scoffs, crossing her arms angrily, looking away to hide the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Never forget that Rowan Khanna died a hero. Some of you may know it was Rowan's ambition to teach at Hogwarts one day. By constantly pursuing new knowledge and instilling a love of learning in ourselves and others. We can honor Rowan's dream. For now, I have temporarily suspended new lessons to give everyone time to grieve. But remember that if we let Rowan's noble goal be a guiding light in these dark times, then just like this light" Dumbledore lifts his wand high, pointing it up to the sky. The end of his wand glows brightly, illuminating the dreary room.

"The memory of Rowan Khanna- a clever, brave, driven, and loyal companion- will shine on."

The teachers behind him raise their wands high, the light gleaming in a brilliant radiance. Arah chokes back a sob as she lifts her own wand into the air- joining the teachers. Slowly, her friends and students join one by one, raising their own wands into the air. They stand there as one, wands risen high in honor of Rowan, her dearest friend.

Rowan. Gone. Dead. No more late-night study sessions in the common room. No more laughing and playing gobstones in the courtyard. No more passing notes to one another in class about the latest chatter. No more butterbeer's. No more staying up late in each other's bunks whispering and choking back laughs in an attempt to not wake the other girls. It was all gone. Forever.

And what of her family? They lost their one and only daughter. Rowan's brother no longer had his sister. A throb of guilt chokes her as she recalls mourning over her own brother. She witnessed her own parents grieve the loss of a son. Now Rowan's parent's are doing the same. All because of _her_. Blame gutted her from the inside, causing her to double over, gasping for air. Clenching her heart, she heaves- vision blurring behind tears.

She couldn't take it anymore. She wanted to run, to scream, to throw and punch and cry. Penny gently clutches her shoulder, but Arah shrugs it away- turning to leave the room as quickly as she could manage. Eyes follow her as she walks briskly down the hall, but she didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore. Not when Rowan was dead because of her.

Barnaby pushes through the crowd and starts to walk towards her, hand reaching out to stop her, but she rips her arm away from him. He pauses, hesitating as he watches her leave through his own red-rimmed eyes.

Arah storms out of the large door, not really sure where she was even going. Anywhere she went felt suffocating- constant memories fleeting through her mind, reminding her of all the places tied to Rowan. She needed a safe place.

She absently stumbles through the halls, until she finds herself at the door of her brother's old room. In a dream-like state, she walks in and closes the door behind her. She was safe now. Shrinking down to the floor, her chest throbs in agony. Arah allows the sobs to wrack her body as she lies crumpled on the floor. The gulps air between cries.

The notes and drawings that her brother had written and collected surround her. Pictures of vaults and sketches of corridors riddle the walls. A picture of her brother catches her eye, his grin stretched wide, laughing at some unheard joke. Her _brother. _Jacob was supposed to be there for her. To protect her like every big brother was supposed to. Where was he? Where was he when she needed him most. Maybe if he was there last night, he could have saved Rowan. Fury washes over her body like fire, flames of resentment radiating through her veins.

Her sobs turn into roars as she stands and pushes everything off the shelf with a crash. Several bottles of ink shatter to the floor as papers fly everywhere, fluttering to the ground. It wasn't enough. Seeing a large chalkboard covered in notes and diagrams, she howls and topples it over, clattering to the floor with a loud thud.

The sight of her reflection catches her. Eyes swollen from crying, gashes and bruises painted her skin- evidence of the battle from the night before. Growling, she punches the mirror- causing little hairline cracks to spread through the mirror. A dozen jagged images of her face reflected back at her.

"WHERE WERE YOU?!" Arah bellows. "I NEEDED YOU!" She punches the mirror again, causing it to shatter to the floor in hundreds of little pieces. "I HATE YOU!" She falls to her hands and knees, chest heaving as she pants.

_"I hate you._" she whispers to herself...the words sunk deep, comprehension washing over her. It was _herself_ that she hated- not her brother. _She _was the one that failed to protect her friend. Not him. She was daft enough to walk right into their trap. Not him. _She_ decided to get her friends involved in this mess. This was _her_ doing. _Her_ responsibility.

Blood drips from her hand as a small piece of glass protrudes from her skin. Numbly, she picks it out, feeling nothing. Blood drips off her fingers onto some old parchment, staining the paper in a coppery hue. The paper had mostly soaked in the spilled ink, making most of the words illegible. Squinting her eyes, she sees her brother's writing scratched sloppily on the surface. The words _Why?_ underlined boldly.

_Why._

Penny knew why. It was time Arah find her to get answers.

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**A/N**

**This has been challenging for me to write- which I have really enjoyed. I tried my best to place myself in the MC's shoes and capture the raw emotion they would be experiencing that the game doesn't really show or go into detail. As sad as this is, I really have enjoyed writing this fic to give myself some closure as we all mourn over the loss of Rowan. I hope it does the same for you.**

**Please leave a review and**** let me know what you think so far! I might write one or two more chapters...maybe a funeral or post-funeral. Let me know your thoughts in the reviews! **

**For those of you who don't play Hogwarts Mystery, I encourage you to download the app and give it a go :)**


	3. A New Day

Fog dances over the still water like smoke over glass. It had started to drizzle, but Arah didn't care. Closing her eyes, vapor clings to her skin and hair. They buried Rowan a week ago. The school was back into a false sense of normalcy. Classes had returned, homework was assigned, tests were coming up. Just like that, life carried on. Yet Arah was stuck. Trapped in this deep pit of grief, unable to move forward. Rowan's empty chair tormented her through classes, her bed and belongings now empty and gone. It was a constant aching reminder of the loss of her best friend. Focusing in class was out of the question. The teachers seemed to show patience for her lack of effort, well... maybe all except for Snape. It hardly took any time before he was back to normal, being a total arse. In a way, Arah was thankful for it. Snape was the only one that didn't treat her as if she was this fragile little thing- one word away from crumbling.

A loud splash startles her as a large black tentacle breaches the glassy surface of the water, falling down with a crash. It was just the giant squid saying hello again. Ripples disappear into the smooth surface as Arah surveys the Black Lake, pleading for it to show her a sign that the final vault was there. Desperation motivated her, an unstoppable force fueled her to find the last vault before Rakepick. To bring her to justice and avenge Rowan. The only thing she looked forward to anymore was the meetings with their secret organization her friends had formed. The Circle of Khanna they called it. All their effort and energy now dedicated to finding the last cursed vault. Sighing with frustration, Arah chucks a smooth rock into the water, huffing as she sits on a large rock by the shore.

The thick clouds shield the sun, hiding any signs of the time of day. The days seemed to blend together lately. Arah found herself sitting here at the rocky shore of the Black Lake more often than in the castle. When she wasn't attending classes, she was here. It wasn't uncommon for Arah to go the whole day before realizing she hadn't eaten anything. The castle was filled with too many memories of Rowan. It was much too painful.

Squinting, Arah stares into the gray horizon- the other side of the lake enveloped by the whispy haze, casting a thick dreary veil of gloom. Sadness prickles her throat as she swallows hard- wiping her eyes dry before they even had the chance to overflow.

She missed Rowan. Arah recalls the day of the funeral. They had laid her to rest at her family's tree farm under a towering ash tree. It was beautiful- perfect for Rowan. Many of her friends had attended, including the Professors and Dumbledor. The service was lead by an older balding man named Ollie- Rowan's Uncle she recalls. No words he had shared really registered with her. All Arah could focus on was her best friend's lifeless body that lie in the mahogany casket.

Rowan's brown hands rest lightly over her chest, gently cradling her wand- made from the very tree they lie her under. Her long black hair flowed and framed her face beautifully. She looked at peace, as if she were in a deep sleep. Arah imagines her dreaming of having the library to herself. A tower of books and parchment surrounding her. Arah almost chuckles at the thought before remembering the setting she was in.

How did they make her look so...so normal? When Rowan died, the look of fear was etched into her face. Eyes wide with terror, mouth agape in a silent scream. It was an image that would be burned into her memory forever. Arah understood now why Penny had asked for her help to brew a forgetfulness potion all those years ago. How she desperately wanted to forget the painful memories of her childhood friend she had lost. The pain was so unbearable at times that Arah would be lying if she didn't consider it once or twice.

Soft sniffles echo quietly around her paired with the occasional watery laugh as Ollie recounted memories and stories of Rowan that Arah didn't comprehend. Penny had attended with her little sister, Beatrice. The two sisters clung to one another in comfort. It was the first time in a while Arah saw them getting along. Andre was there too along with Badea, Jay, Tulip, and a blue-haired Tonks. The Weasley's had come as well- leaving their littlest ones behind with their Auntie Muriel. Charlie gave Arah a watery smile as their eyes met from afar. Bill looked grief-struck. He would be blind to have not seen how Rowan fancied him. Sometimes Arah wondered if he ever entertained having feelings for her... she pushed the silly thoughts away. It didn't matter anymore.

Ben stood alone in the corner, arms crossed tightly and head bowed. Merula stood by with Liz and Barnaby. Merula was angry all the time, a permanent scowl twisting her features. Liz would periodically take her glasses off to dry her glistening face. Barnaby stood still, eyebrows furrowed and watery eyes fixed to the ground. His jaw clenched and unclenched as the occasional tear trickled down his nose before he quickly wiped it away.

Then they were closing her casket. Arah felt her knees buckle as the mahogany lid came to a close. She grips her own mother's hand who stood next to her for support. It was the last she would ever see Rowan. The feeling of grief crashed over her like a tidal wave. _No_. She wasn't ready to say goodbye, not yet. A sob rang out from the crowd as Rowan's mum wails into a handkerchief. Long black hair braided behind her back, she was the spitting image of Rowan. What must have been Rowan's father wrapped a comforting arm around her, whispering words of comfort in her ear. Her little brother stands between them, head dropped as he wiped away silent tears. He had to have been no more than nine years old... the same age she was when Jacob went missing.

Thick streams of tears pour down Arah's face, she cups her hand over her mouth to stop her lip from trembling. Arah's Mum stood next to her, stroking her long silver hair. She was grateful that her Mum had come to support her. Their relationship had not been the best lately. Ever since she found out Jacob was still alive. The guilt ate at her as she was tasked to keep the secret to herself, even from her own parents. Arah had always been close to them, but this secret was too big of a burden. As an attempt to ease the pain, she pushed them away. If Jacob were to be killed, she would never wish them to lose their son all over again. She couldn't put them through that. Not again.

But now, Rowan's family mourned the loss of their daughter. A sister. Arah leans her head on her Mum's shoulder as Professor McGonagall steps forward and waves her hand over the casket. An array of colorful flowers appear, covering the mahogany case in a delicate floral display. Professor Flitwick steps in front of the crowd raising his wand high. The casket begins to levitate as he guides it over the deep trench, gently lowering Rowan into the ground. Professor Sprout dabs her face dry as she approaches the fresh mound of dirt. With a swirl of her wand, the dirt covers the casket. Suddenly, fresh green grass begins to sprout over the earth as beautiful white flowers bloom, blanketing the mound of soil with beauty.

Dumbledore stands solemnly before the flowerbed and lifts his hand towards the towering ash tree, flicking his wand in small gestures. Gold letters begin to etch into the trunk of the tree.

**Rowan Khanna **  
**December 1972- March 1990 **  
**Beloved Daughter. Sister. Friend. Hero.**

Arah stands, dazed at the letters engraved into the bark of the tree. Acceptance washes over her like rain, settling deep into her chest. Her best friend was gone. Laid to rest forever. A hand caresses her hair as her mum tucks her silver strands behind her ear. Arah blinks, looking around. The crowd of people had shuffled away to a larger tent in a clearing. They were to celebrate the life of Rowan with food, drinks, and reminiscences of stories and memories. Arah wasn't quite ready for that. Not yet. She needed to do one more thing.

"Mum, would you mind if I take a moment to say goodbye?"

"Of course, sweetheart. Take your time. I will be over there when you're ready." With a final kiss on her head, her Mum leaves her in privacy, joining the soft hums of laughter from the tent.

Nervously, Arah shuffles towards the fresh white daisies. Gently, she kneels on the ground, tangling her fingers in the fresh grass. Tears begin to fall from the tip of her nose as she bows her head, a curtain of silvery hair cascading around her.

"Rowan, I'm...I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you..." Arah breaks, covering her mouth to stifle her cries. "Th-thank you. For everything. For being the best friend I could ever have. For making me laugh. For being a shoulder to cry on. For reminding me to not take life so seriously. For...for looking out for me always.." A wave wracks her body as she chokes back another sob. "I'll never forget what you've done for me. I will miss you more than words can describe. Goodbye, my friend."

The sound of footsteps brings her back to the present as she jerks her head to the shoreline, hand hovering over her wand. The familiar figure of Barnaby comes to view, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. Relief slows her heart down as she settles back comfortably into the ground.

"Hey." Barnaby smiles softly.

"Hey." Arah responds, voice hoarse from lack of use.

"I was looking for you -hope I'm not interrupting anything." He says hesitantly.

"No, not at all..." Arah scoots over, leaving space for Barnaby to join her. "How'd you know to find me here?"

"I noticed you didn't come to Divinations so I asked Penny if she'd seen you. She told me that Billingsley told her that Murphy told him that he had seen you down here... or maybe it was Murphy who told Billingsley?" Barnaby sighs. "Don't make me explain it. You know how it goes with Penny." He sits next to her, forcing a smile.

Arah chuckles softly. Warmth radiates off of him, enveloping Arah in comfort. They stare into the lake, silence setting in like the fog over the water.

"Oh! I almost forgot." Barnaby remembers, digging into his robe pockets before pulling out a bundle wrapped in cloth. "I noticed you hadn't come to the great hall to eat today, so I thought I'd bring you something in case you were hungry."

Barnaby hands her the warm bundle. The kind gesture made Arah's cheeks go warm. He was always thinking of others. Arah unwraps it to find several loaves of pumpkin bread. The warm aroma hit her nose, making her stomach twist in hunger.

"Thank you." Arah smiles, tearing off a small piece and chewing it. The bread suddenly felt thick in her mouth. She forces herself to swallow, placing the bread to the side to save it for later.

"So...how are you doing?" Barnaby runs his hands nervously through his hair. "Answer me honestly." He urged tenderly, staring into her weary hazel eyes.

Arah sighs, staring at him- sadness evident in his features. His green eyes swim over her face- trying so desperately to read her mind. The usual rehearsed lines of_ 'Im Okay' _or_ 'I'm managing' _fell flat in her head. This was Barnaby. A person she could be candid with.

"To be honest, I... I'm not sure. I have good days and bad days, you know?" Arah shrugs, picking up a small stone and rolling it between her fingers.

"What kind of day is it today?" Barnaby asks softly, eyes not leaving her.

"Today?... Today I miss my friend. Terribly." Arah swallows, emotions clawing up her throat- begging to be released.

"I miss her too." Barnaby says thickly, as he stares out into the water. A comfortable silence sets in as the two sit together, watching the hazy clouds begin to dissipate behind the burning sunset.

"It should have been me, Barnaby." Arah confesses, barely above a whisper.

"Don't say that-"

"I _wish it was me." _Arah chokes, throat raw with sadness as tears blur her vision. "Perhaps it would have been best if none of you met me at all. It's my fault she's gone. I put everyone in danger. That's on _me_." Arah buries her face in her hands as tears cascade down her cheeks. The dark thoughts and burdens she had carried in her mind felt a little lighter now that she shared them aloud. The confession made the weight seem a little more bearable. Maybe Barnaby and the rest of her friends wished they never met her- that things would have been different... and they were right to think that. Arah wouldn't blame them. Barnaby's silence all the more affirmed her suspicions.

"Do you remember when we first met?" Barnaby asks seriously, breaking the silence. Arah blinks, wiping away her tears- confused by the unexpected question.

"What?"

"Do you remember?" he repeats himself, turning to her thoughtfully.

"I...I guess it was in the great hall?" Arah stammers, perplexed as to why he was inquiring about such a thing.

"No, it was in potions class, third year. If I recall, I had threatened to vanish every bone in your body." Barnaby recollects, chuckling to himself out of embarrassment.

Arah remembered. Merula had confronted them that she would find the Cursed Vault before her. Ismelda and Barnaby were her little cronies back in the day, serving her every demand and bending to her will. Arah could laugh at the memory. It all seemed so silly- how young and naive they were.

"I remember." she smiles, tucking her silver hair behind her ear.

She would never have imagined how close they would become 3 years ago. Barnaby was one of her closest friends now. Sometimes, she wondered if he ever looked at her more than just a friend. Occasionally, she would catch him gazing at her- a hint of longing echoed in his green eyes. Maybe it was all in her head. She would be lying to herself if she didn't hope there was something more.

"I don't know why, but you saw the good in me when I didn't even see it in myself. You challenged me to be better. I thought...I thought that I had to follow my Father's footsteps. That being a bully and a tyrant was the only way to become respected. That being powerful was more important than anything. But you... you showed me a better way, a better _life_. Without you, who knows if I would have found that path on my own. I wouldn't trade that for anything, Arah."

Arah's eyes gleamed as she stared into his. Even after this mess she brought into his life, he did not regret their friendship.

"Rowan valued your friendship more than anything." He stared into her face, her damp silver her whisped in the breeze. Gently, he caressed her hair, tucking it behind her ear. Arah's cheeks grew warm at the intimate gesture. "You know, she tutored me almost every evening. _Merlin_, she was so patient and kind to try and help me. I was such a lost cause." He ran his hand down his face, embarrassed at the thought.

Arah smiled to herself, a watery laugh escaping her lips.

"Oh _please_. She loved every chance she had to help teach someone. Including you." She nudged him playfully with her shoulder, feeling accomplished at the smile that splayed across his lips.

"When she wasn't studying, she was talking about _you._ She cared so deeply for you, Arah." He said solemnly.

Her heart ached at the thought. She wished she would have told her more- how much she meant to her. Now she would never have that chance again. Arah wrapped her arms around her, peering back to the horizon. It had stopped drizzling and the sun had fought through the clouds. The rays warmed her face as she admired the setting sun that glistened across the lake.

"You know...it's funny. Everyone has found a way to blame themselves for what happened. You blame yourself. Ben blames himself since that curse was meant for him. Penny blames herself for revealing to Rowan what you and the others were up to. Merula blames herself for not being strong enough to stop it. I blame myself too."

"_What_? Why?" Arah stammered.

"Rowan was tutoring me that night. I could tell something was off- she was worried. I asked her if everything was okay, and she said...she said she had this horrible feeling that you were in some sort of trouble. And before I knew it, she packed up and said she had to go. I had this sense that I should go with her, but...I didn't. I sat there. Clueless. I could have stopped her."

"It wasn't your fault." Arah interrupted, laying a comforting hand on his. "Or Ben's. Or Penny's. Or Merula's."

"And it wasn't your fault either," Barnaby said, grasping her hand. "Don't you see? We _all_ have been playing that night over and over in our heads, wondering what we could have done differently to prevent the outcome of that night. It's nobody's fault, but Rakepicks. _She_ is the only one to blame for this. and we _will_ find justice. Together."

Arah could feel the tears falling from her eyes again. Barnaby was right. It wasn't her fault, she could see that now. It was time she stopped hiding from her friends, ashamed and afraid that they all looked at her the same way she looked at herself. Nobody blamed her- they cared for her. Deeply. It was time to stop living in this constant guilt and regret. Barnaby lifted his warm hand to her face. Stroking her cheek, he wiped the tears away with his thumb.

"Why don't I walk with you to the great hall? Our friends are waiting for us to join them for dinner. I hear their serving shepherds pie." Barnaby smiles tenderly.

"Okay," Arah smiles, nodding her head. "but let's just sit here a while longer."

The two of them sit quietly on the shoreline, watching the sun disappear behind the glassy horizon. The sun shimmers across the water, filling the sky with a golden glow. Arah lies her head on Barnaby's shoulder as they admire the beautiful scenery. His arm wrapped around her shoulder, rubbing small circles into her skin with his thumb. This was the first day Arah would allow herself to begin healing.

* * *

**A/N: The end. I _had_ to include some of Rowan's funeral. It wouldn't feel right without it. I also think the MPC would need some guidance to get to a point of healing. I love Barnaby and this felt right to include ****him to be that person to help her. I also ship them like crazy if you can't tell :)**

**I hope that this story brought you some closure. Please give it a like and leave a comment if you enjoyed it. Your reviews mean the world to me and encourage me to continue to write. Let me know if you have any ideas for potential Hogwart Mystery short stories you'd like to see. I'd love some inspiration to continue to write**


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